February’s deadline day produced an extraordinary evening for Manchester United supporters. Just months after they thought they struck gold with Radamel Falcao, their sweet Colombian prince, they saw the departures of a number of crucial figures.
Club veteran Darren Fletcher opted for a move to West Bromwich Albion, Wilfried Zaha returned to Crystal Palace after reportedly enjoying his spell in Manchester a little too much, and the fan favourite that is Anderson finally departed from the Theatre of Dreams after many a nightmare.
However, without the enjoyment of purple dildos and frankly humiliating chants as part of the treasured Jim White experience, Ed Woodward was required to add a little spice to the mild curry that was Manchester United. Louis van Gaal had provided some heat in the kitchen, but the end product was yet to be baked. Nonetheless, one man managed to break Sky Sports News’ deadline day coverage. And that man headed to Manchester United from the sunny paradise of the Reebok Stadium.
Super Andy Kellett. Blitzing down the M61 as the clock approached midnight, the 21-year-old was to sign for one of England’s most prestigious clubs – caked in glory with honours spanning back to the days of Tom Jones and Engelbert Humperdinck – having only recently completed a spell with League Two’s finest Plymouth Argyle. Having rarely featured for Neil Lennon’s mighty Trotters, Kellett initially believed the move was a practical joke, instead heading to Warren Joyce’s Under-21s as Swiss prodigy Saidy Janko temporarily headed in the other direction.
The move was so shocking Sky Sports were unable to evaluate whether their sources were correct. The unknown defender was initially linked to Manchester United, and sparked outcry on social networking. Was he another fake player made up by an internet troll? Once his origin was proved, Sky Sports then decided they had the wrong United, and he was in fact making a move to Sheffield United. Everything made sense and the panic was over. Until 11.50pm – 50 minutes after the official close of the winter dealings – and a tweet spread across the internet confirming the most glorious news for Manchester United since the sale of Bebe.
#mufc have signed young defender Andy Kellett on loan from Bolton Wanderers until the end of the season.
— Manchester United (@ManUtd) February 2, 2015
Woodward had indeed worked his magic once more, and welcomed the left-footed legend to Carrington. Kellett was mocked, and Kellett was hounded. But Kellett celebrated by making a Twitter account and complaining when they took away his verification. Nonetheless, the warrior enjoyed a tremendous season with the 20-time Premier League winners, making it heart-breaking to see the youngster return to Bolton Wanderers with the completion of the greatest signing ever witnessed on transfer deadline day.
We pay homage to the man himself, after achieving a better minute-per-goal ratio than British transfer record signing Angel Di Maria, most-improved star Ashley Young, and even two-time Player of the Year award winner David de Gea, even if the goals didn’t come at United. Warren Joyce’s men celebrated their third Barclays Under-21 Premier League title in just four years, and have proved their dominance in English football. And with Kellett featuring an astounding nine times in his short-term loan with the club, he was undoubtedly an influential figure in their success. But how exactly did super Andy Kellett get on with the Red Devils?
Within his nine appearances, almost celebrating double digits, United fell to just a single defeat. However, this defeat cannot be blamed on the defender, who was in fact deployed as a left-midfielder in the club’s final league game of the season. The 3-1 defeat to Manchester City can be looked over considering the league title had already been won, the guard of honour had already been given, and the Reds had recently inflicted a dominant 4-0 victory over their noisy neighbours. He did claim an assist though, good on you Andy.
Going back to the roots, Kellett first impressed while representing Bolton Wanderers Under-21’s, featuring in a 3-3 draw with Newcastle United. There’s common knowledge that is you have a light, you have to let it shine – and that’s exactly what they did (to perfection). Just 35 minutes into the tie, Kellett had secured his brace, before leaving shortly before the full-time whistle to a standing ovation of the Bolton Ultras. A handful of successful appearances were enough to impress the three-time Champions League winners, and Kellett soon donned the beautiful Chevrolet logo embellished on the jersey as a late substitute against Sunderland.
Admittedly, Kellett forgot his goalscoring boots when in such a rush on deadline day, and he decided to become a rock in the defensive line which conceded just 20 goals in 21 games. Monumental work by the Bolton born-and-bred hero. Once he had worked his way into Joyce’s plan, there was no stopping him. Joyce knew he couldn’t substitute the warrior, he was too valuable to the team. Following his first full start, he played every minute – until requiring another standing ovation in his final appearance for the Red Devils.
Deployed in a 3-5-2, Kellett was not going to be held back by a formation change the Academy Stadium, featuring in front of almost 2,000 hardcore fans. Once again, we potentially place the defeat in the hands of Joyce (although we can forget his slight mistake for his previous valiant efforts in lifting the trophy). With 43 minutes played, Kellett majestically broke down the left-wing. Manchester City were aware of the danger, and forced Jack Byrne to come sliding in. Nonetheless, Kellett took him for an absolute mug and some say he remains to be sliding to this day. The god was yet to finish though, and eased past Kelechi Iheanacho, still in awe of the chop which left his teammate on the floor, before playing an inch-perfect cross for Fletcher to take home.
Kellett was substituted at half-time, and Manchester City went on to win 3-1. That is all. However, it was a fitting ending to the Manchester United career of a prodigy.
Super Andy Kellett, I salute you.
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